How To Create Your New Normal. And Why Now Is The Perfect Time.
By Sophie Scott
“Whatever good or bad fortune may come our way, we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.” Herman Hesse, from the novel Siddartha.
What has been the biggest change for you since the world has been dealing with the pandemic?
Our external world has been completely upended.
The way we interact with each other in our schools, workplaces, community and families has had to change drastically.
Our brains like routine and stability, so for most of us, it’s been uncomfortable and difficult.
For many of us, being in isolation has magnified loneliness and uncertainty.
But as difficult as it has been, we can also use this opportunity to turn inward and check in with what’s working well with our lives and what we want to change.
Author and vulnerability expert Brené Brown puts it perfectly. (www.brenebrown.com)
In a recent interview with the New York Times, she said a crisis like this highlights all our fault lines.
“We can pretend that we have nothing to learn, or we can take this opportunity to own the truth and make a better future for ourselves and others.”
For anyone feeling destabilized by fear, she cautioned against lashing out.
“We tend to be our worst selves when we’re afraid,” she said.
“So we have to be intentional about choosing kindness and generosity.”
Some of us have rediscovered simple pleasures like baking.
For others, there has been a realisation that a slower, simpler life without the overwhelm is what they have been craving.
HOW TO KEEP THE NEW NORMAL
So how do we hang on to the positive changes?
How do we keep the good parts of this ‘new normal’ when life moves into the next phase, which it inevitably will?
Focusing on what you really value is important.
So is recognising that to really change our actions and stick with it, we need to change what’s going on on the inside as well.
We can only change and make those changes stick when we change the narrative that’s running through our minds and mindset.
Since I’ve been writing about positive psychology, I hear so many stories from people who want to make changes in their lives and adopt new habits.
But they hang on to the stories from their past or subconscious beliefs they hold about themselves.
Maybe it’s something you might have been told as a kid, that you have buried as a belief and still hold as true.
Maybe you were told you were ‘shy’ and that’s why you have always found public speaking a challenge.
Or you always took on the role of ‘fixer’ in your family, the one who solves problems and never asks for help.
Whatever role, story or subconscious thoughts you have been telling yourself that’s been holding you back, now is the time to confront them and move past them, so you can make the meaningful changes in your life that you crave.
Ask yourself:
What have been the unexpected benefits of this time of upheaval that you want to hold on to?
How has it made you feel?
How much better would you feel if you could maintain this as part of your life as things change?
We are being given an unprecedented opportunity to ‘reset’ our lives.
The thoughts and stories you have been telling yourself are just that … thoughts.
They are not your reality.
You can gently acknowledge the thoughts you might be having but you don’t have to accept them as true.
While no single action will change your life, the decision to challenge some of the long held beliefs you have held about yourself can make an immense difference.
James Clear in his book ‘Atomic Habits’ (Random House 2018) puts it this way.
“If nothing changes, nothing is going to change. Decide the person you want to be, and prove it to yourself with small wins.”
So choose kindness towards yourself and others, as we prepare for the new ‘normal.’
What are you hoping your new normal will look like?
Until next time.
Sophie
FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM @SOPHIESCOTT2